I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
