No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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