I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
