alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
