i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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