You work out of a Hotel?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
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I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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