So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
