he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
