So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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