Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
