We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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