before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize