Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize