this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
