is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
