After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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