I cut my penus on the lid.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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