so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
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Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
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I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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