WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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