I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
