If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
