I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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