When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
