my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
