it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
