You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
COCAINE IS GR8
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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