Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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