do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
