fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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