the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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