I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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