Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize