He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
