Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
