She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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