ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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