Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize