I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
