Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We left the knife in your bed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
