So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
