she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Can I color on your dick again?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
