what day is it and did you see me today?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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