I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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