I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sarcasm needs its own font
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
