if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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