Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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