we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
