How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
