This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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