I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Randomize
