I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Randomize