I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
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She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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