She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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