Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
