You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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