Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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