I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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