Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
