I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
