i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
